The Trailblazer: "Around 40 or more girls are playing now, when there were none initially when I joined."

Anyone from her community will know this story immediately. Though I will continue to post these as anonymous stories, I can't hide this one too well. She really is a trailblazer and the reason why many girls play soccer in her town.

During my week in central India a few months ago, I kept hearing about her story even before I met her. Other players, both girls and boys, kept saying, " Have you met her yet? No girls used to play before she was here. She was the first one and first female coach." Some of the girls said, " We would not be playing without her being the first one to do it. The community gave her a tough time but we didn't have to face too much because we were after her."

I am glad that she is kept in touch over the course of this year. This was one of my favorite interviews (though maybe I say that every time), but this one truly was unique.

As always, I asked, " What's your story?" This was her answer (direct translation from Hindi to English):

"I am now 21. It’s only my mom and me now. She is divorced. I’m the only child.

Because I’m a girl, my father tried to kill me. He left mom because I was a girl. My mom is like a friend to me, she does everything for me and is everything to me. After 12 grade/standard, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. My friend told me to join sports. I wasn’t very confident. My college only let me play in cricket and hockey. The head coach here inspired me to play and I started to play football (soccer). There was a foundation that helps poorer children play and empower them. This foundation would allow me to play at a college level. Eventually I understood that I would be able to grow here, professionally.

When I first came here I was the only girl. There were no others. There were many questions here about why I am the only girl. The head coach and founder were very encouraging. They were like role models.

The community would torture my mom, as if by playing I was doing something wrong. After I was selected for an international tournament, everything changed. No one says anything now. My mom was worried though at first for my safety being the only girl. When she saw the training camps here, she came to see that this was a wonderful place, and she was like a mother figure to the out of station girls to came to play. All girls seemed safe here, regardless of what time of day we trained.

When I was selected to play in Brazil, it was in the newspaper. No one knew me though before this. I didn’t even know that this was spreading so quickly. One of my mom’s friends just happened to see it in the newspaper and told us.

At this point, teachers and parents came and said that if I coach then we will send their daughters to be coach by me, because I’m a girl. After I came back, I began coaching the daughters. Around 40 or more girls are playing now, when there were none initially when I joined.

No one cared about my sports performance till I was in the news. It became a highlight and everyone started talking. Some liked it but others didn’t think so, and thought it was wrong. In the Muslim community, most girls don’t go out wearing short clothes, because the community thinks this is wrong. They gave my mom a tough time, saying that I would change for the worst. After she spoke to the coaches here she felt safe and now agrees full heartedly to me playing this sport.

Sometimes parents were not supportive at first, but when they saw that sports is helping in studies, they started to agree to let the girls play. Our foundation also teaches social awareness. The girls here are fresh and stress free overall. The girls are able to perform here. The community and parents have started to ask why girls aren’t playing, even when they miss just one day of practice.

I was always so independent but I wasn’t that confident. When I started, I had to apply for a passport to travel. I went independently and had the confidence required. With the foundation’s and the team's support, I was able to do tasks by myself. Now, I help in the office, I also play, and will start coaching again soon."

After the interview, she told me that she hopes to become a sports journalist. I look forward to reading her work hopefully very soon!

A Home Away from Home

This story is about my favorite place to stay in Goa and some very special people there. A family of five, now living at Bogmalo Beach in Goa, give off some of the most "positive energy I have ever encountered in India," as my mom put it when we left from there last week. They own a place called Leon Hideout Guest house, named after their son, Leon, and the guest house is behind palm trees as if it is "hiding out."

To avoid making this a typical travel blog, I will just say a few cliche lines about Holi last week. I was with this family over Holi at their beach guest house. I got a chance to play Holi after close to 12 years because of the family and the place where we stayed, which is what I will tell you about. Such a great day! After everyone is completely colored from all the colored powder on Holi, the next step is to head to the beach for a mid-day swim. I loved that Holi! Thank you Bogmalo Beach and Leon Hideout Guest House!

The first time I went to this guest house resort was in December for the Goa Marathon. Though that was not my best run, I am glad I went because I met this family. After I left there, I emailed the owner of Leon Hideout for the story of the actual place and how it all started. Here is his reply, most of which is his direct quotes from his emails. 

      This is actually my ancestral place for about 70 years so we did not move here, we are from this area. 
      My wife had housekeeping experience in many 3 to 5 star hotels. She started her career at the Oberoi Bogmalo Beach, as a trainee housekeeping assitant for one year then move to a hotel in Vasco da Gama named Hotel Maharaja. Later, she moved to a 5 star hotel in Panjim named Cidade de Goa, as house keeping supervisor for 10 years. 
      My wife has had a difficult journey. When she finished her school her family was not able to support her further studies as they were 8 people in her family, so she had to look for a job when she was just 15 yrs old. This was when she joined the Oberoi Bogmalo Beach as a room attendant. Later when she got married, it was getting a bit difficult to travel so she gave up and joined a resort called Coconut Creek in Bogmalo. It was a new organization, so she helped them to set up the resort and all the departments. When she was tired of running around, she thought of starting her own little guest house. This guest house was her idea. 

      After I finished my studies, I started working in a shack at Bogmalo and later joined the Oberoi as well. There we met met each other. I worked at Oberoi for ten years, then joined P&O Cruises for 17 years. I left that job to join my wife so we could start this guest house.
      Before getting married we were friends for 12 yrs, and now have been married for 17 yrs. We stay here with our 3 children, one is 15 yrs old, the other 10 years, and  the little one is 8 years old. 

Their story reminded me of the simplicity behind why I wanted to write about "game changers." They just have a lot to teach others about life I think. Thank you to my favorite family of five! 

To my readers, if you ever head to Goa, I recommend staying at Leon Hideout at Bogmalo beach, and getting to hang out with some sincere and down-to-earth people.  Here is the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/LeonHideOutGuestHouse

"These players' lives need change and football might be the only thing that can help. I want to create the best players and leaders here."

This is a overdue post about the last interview from Slum Soccer from the series of interviews last April. This story is about a Slum Soccer coach who changed his life completely to improve the lives of others. This interview was in Marathi so the text below has been translated.


I asked this coach to tell me his story and how he got to where he is now with Slum Soccer. Here is his reply. 


" I am from an area known as that "suicide area" here. There is no water there in the summer and the only occupation is farming and growing cotton. There is no importance placed on education there. Going to school just involved getting beat and there was no encouragement. So, eventually most students stopped coming to school. Sports was something no one knew about there. There was no funding for sports and no encouragement at a grassroots level at all. 

I started playing football in 10th grade/standard. I played with black shoes like what the police wear here. The professor told us that we could only play if we got different shoes and shorts. So I cut my pants and got canvas shoes so I could play. There wasn't much of an opportunity there so we played for the fun of it. Competition was getting better slowly. In 12th grade/standard, I was selected for the under-19 team and played at the state-level. I wanted these certain kind of shoes. There was no help from home though and no one even asked what was going on in my life. So I decided to work and head to college. Working helped me earn enough for those shoes I wanted eventually. 

In 2008, I was selected to play football at the district level, where I was later selected for the national level. This is also when Slum Soccer got in touch with me and I was selected by Slum soccer to play in the national championship. I later went on to the Homeless World Cup in Australia when I knew that I could be something, especially when I played in the final. I got a chance to see a new lifestyle in Australia. There were 68 countries at the Homeless World Cup that year. Seemed like there was not language problem as everyone was close and not segregated at all. Everyone was open to being there. 

After coming home from Australia, I didn't want to just stay at home. I wanted to change and get educated too. However, with the money I had, I could not get the education I wanted so I had to come home against my own wish. Then I received a call from the founder of Slum Soccer and he told me to help start Slum Soccer in Nagpur.  The founder and CEO of Homeless World Cup came to give me a five-day coaching session. It was a great opportunity and very eye-opening.  After I started with Slum Soccer, I slowly began to see change and opportunity.  Because cricket is so popular here, I wanted to organize a cricket competition here, but eventually football picked up here so we started football with our first team of seventh and eighth graders. 


The students here have a lot of family issues so I had to be here for them. They do not have any support from school either. In 2010, we started the girls football program. There are many societal issues to overcome, but I took them to see other matches and traveled with them. I still travel with them now. They would not have been encouraged without opportunity so I felt like I had to show them. 

The main question for me was how to make the girls play at the level of boys and the only answer I saw was to have them play together. So with my own "code of conduct," I developed a co-ed league here at Slum Soccer. With the help of coaching sessions through our partner sports associations, we were able to keep the girls playing on the football field with the boys now.

These players' lives need change and football might be the only thing that can help. I want to create the best players and leaders here."

"...I have higher expectations for myself now."

I am slowly posting the interviews from my week with Slum Soccer in Nagpur last April. I never thought it would take this long but their stories are so inspiring and tough to hear sometimes that I need more time with each post than planned.  With that said, this is another Slum Soccer coach's story about how hard work can make anything possible. (It is a direct translation from Marathi to English). 

As always, I asked, " So, what's your story? Why are you coaching and playing football now?" This is his story.

An Introduction

"Let me start before 2008. I was living with some very violent people who did drugs frequently. In 2008, I joined sports and started playing football. Football impacted my life is so many ways, especially by improving me. I joined here in 2008 when I finished my 10th standard/grade and started playing state and nation level football (soccer).  I did well in the trials for the state football level and around that time I also found out that I passed my tenth standard (grade) tests. I was later selected to go to Poland for the Homeless World Cup. 

When our founder here (who was more of a father figure and mentor to these boys) found out about my 10th standard scores and that I passed, he told me one thing which was "to keep learning and keep playing." Since I started playing, I was also developing a football group near my house which I helped to "coach" and make sure it progressed. It is more for all sports. I always played football there and helped others through it. Now I am coaching here at Slum Soccer. I coach one girls team and then I play on one team through Slum soccer in the afternoons. I play football all day.

Day One

The first day when I went to play football I had a lot of fun, but I was so tired after playing that day. My coach told me that I was getting tired and don't have much stamina because of the drugs that I was involved with. That stayed in my mind and after a long while I quit doing all of that. Football has helped me get away from it. Also, people started knowing me as the "football guy" because I played all the time after a point. That became my name. People who associated me with my father seemed proud of me playing so often. 

Football got me away from such things like drugs, but I am not saying that I stop spending time and living with my old friends who are still involved in drugs themselves.  I don't do any of that myself now but I do try to improve their habits. I have been able to help one of my best friend stop smoking and that friend tells people that he won't do drugs or anything because he has given me his word. Some of my friends used to keep insisting that I take drugs again even after I quit. I eventually started telling them that I will just leave if they keep asking me to take that and that I have higher expectations for myself now. Those boys have now stopped asking me that and won't mention it around me. They all stop doing it around me too. I think I would give all the credit to beginning to play football."

His Hard work Theory

When I was later selected for a state tournament and an international tournament, I saw that there are many other players who were amazing and better players than I was but were not selected. All I learned through that moment was that with hardwork you are unstoppable and can achieve anything.

I lied about playing in the beginning because my family was not supportive. When my father saw that I can play and have talent he started being supportive, especially after I was selected for tournaments. There were a few times when I told my mom that I was going to my friend's place but I was really heading to the field. Now I don't have to lie anymore and continue to stay away from drugs, all because of football and hard work."

"I was deciding whether I wanted to live or die. "

During my visit to Goa a week ago, I met a lady working on one of the beaches there. I thought she would have an interesting background, but couldn't have imagined it would be such a difficult and painful one. 

She spoke in English so I try to keep her own phrasing in this post. 


I asked her, "What brought you here?"  This was her reply. 


"When my mom was pregnant with me, my dad died. My mother wanted to kill me because I wasn't a boy. We came from a very poor background. One day when my mother was trying to strangle me with a bed sheet, my uncle saved me. He saved everyone.


I am the youngest of three sisters. My uncle saved all of us. He married my oldest sister off and she moved to Goa. My middle sister was sick with asthma, so she couldn't do much. It was serious. After my oldest sister left, my mom, other sister and me had no help. My father had seven brothers and one sister. Oldest sister told me to come to Goa and learn English.


When I was about 8 years old, I moved to a beach. We all slept on sarongs and knew no language but our local language. The police eventually told us that we can not sell anything on beach. So the girls and I left our  things on boat and ran into the jungle. People saw the hiding spot and stole everything. After this my mom said told me to sell fruit then clothes later. I slowly learned. For eight days, I didn't tell that there was good money here. After I finally told them, my sister came here too. After my sister with asthma got even sicker, I started to work here. 



My mother never loved me and only started to love me after I made money. At 14, I was married off to my father's sisters' son. The boy chooses the girl so I didn't have any say in the matter. After our wedding, all relations were broken. At the wedding my oldest sister got very mad about the way the finances were managed at the wedding. I made no demands of my own because I knew that my family (the brides side) has to take on the expenses.



We did not have a happy marriage. I didn't get anything from husband. He wasn't working so I had to support him. After about  2 months my sister came. I didn't have any connection with my family, especially after my sister got angry at my wedding. By custom, I am supposed to go with my father-in-law or mother-in-law to my mother's house sometime after my wedding. Finally, my husband agreed to this and let me go to my mother's place with my father-in-law.



At home, my aunty said she wanted to talk to me and that I should support older sister. My middle sister wanted a shop on this beach.  You know though, I always felt like only when they (my family) needed something they would call. I decided to come with my sister. She wanted me to come with because our eldest sister was threatening my middle sister. The owner here said it was okay for us to sell things here and use the shop.



During this period of my life, there was a lot of jealousy and competition, and abuse. I got pregnant with my first child around this time too and eventually lost my first child. There were no men at deliveries by custom so only women helped deliver the babies. Those women tried to save my new baby, but I had already lost the child. There was a long line of women when I lost my first born.  I saw my mother's face in the crowded but she never came to the front to help deliver the baby or hold me later after I lost my first little one. I always knew my mother didn't want me, but in that moment I truly felt like she didn't want to have any relation with me. It was truly tough to live after I lost my first child. I was deciding whether I wanted to live or die.



I have four children now. After losing my first child, I had another one when I was 17. So now I have three daughters and one son. My husband was not proud of three daughters, but is now nice to me after having a son.In the mean time the shop we were in when I got pregnant with my first child I lost was closed. The six months that followed were very difficult as we were living without any business. Then we were fortunate when one day we ended up on this beach and were trying to sell things. The owner of the property asked what they were doing. We asked him to rent this shop to us. After he agreed we've been here since. It's been 9 years now in this shop.



My only family is my husband and children now. We send all four of them to school. (One of her daughters is able to read, write, and speak English). I have no contact with my family so just my husband, who is much nicer than before, and my children."




"...I have learned education and behavior- I have changed for the better..."


Alright, I'm back after almost three months (too long) with lots of stories waiting to be told/read.

Of all the interviews I've given so far, most people do not want to tell their stories in English, simply because they are not too comfortable with English but they know the language pretty well. This interviewee was the first person who wanted to tell his story in English. I will use his direct quotes throughout this post and translate the rest. 

Instead of me asking him a question to get the interview started, he simply asked if he could speak in English and then began to tell his story with a combination of English and Marathi. Here is his story:

" I have now been with Slum Soccer for three years, both as a player and coach. Slum Soccer has taught me a lot. When I first moved to this area with my family, there was no football. The only sport that was played was cricket so we all played that growing up here and I became interested in cricket since then. You started seeing football played here in 2009. That's when dada (a term for older brother or older male) came to our school and encouraged us to play football. Because football wasn't popular here yet, none of us knew anything about this sport. There were only twenty of us playing on the field then. Dada was very patient with us though and taught us everything about football. We used to practice twice a day, once at 6 A.M. and then after school. Dada was a role model for us to stay dedicated and keep working hard. We kept practicing and started participating in tournaments as well. After he developed our interest, we practiced for a year or so and then we competed at a local tournament and one in our schools. After one more year, girls started to play as well. 


Our boys team is a top team and the girls team was the state winner. Everyone is at the top. When I was a player I was a captain and encouraged the team how dada used to encourage us. The coach or dada told us later about Slum Soccer, then I started to play and coach here. Dada taught me everything he knew about coaching. I have participated in many football events. I have learned so much from Slum Soccer. 

I study as well as play. My family is surprisingly very supportive. Between dada and my family I am very well encouraged and supported. However, the other kids would come with other complaints that their families wouldn't let them play. Dada then had to encourage them a lot. Families sometimes have a problem with playing when scores (grades) are not as high a expected. It doesn't matter how talented the players are; it is all about the scores. There are some schools that give extra marks if a student is involved in sports, but that doesn't matter without scores. 


I think I've been able to become a role model for the new ones especially because I study and play. I've developed communication and encouragement skills. I initiated a leadership course here. After three years with Slum Soccer, I have learned education and behavior- I have changed for the better, as well as hygiene and cleanliness. On Women's Day we even gave girls a chance to be involved on the planning side of things. Sir, dada's father, always encourages us to study and play. He always used his experience in football and studies. He also tells us about other news like politics.


As players we are very dedicated. If we don't have time in the day we will come in early and coach or play. Slum Soccer isn't just about the game. Though there may be a great player but one that is involved in drugs and alcohol, that player wouldn't be picked for local or international tournaments. Slum Soccer is about the behavior and not a person's game. Thankfully I have a supportive family and am not here to survive, but because I love being here. My family has "low drama" in my family. Thankfully I am at peace at home and what's going on at home. If that wasn't the case, I don't know how I would've focused here. My little brother and I used to play cricket. He still plays now and I am into football now. It is great that both brothers are into sports now." 

Drugs, Violence, and Soccer

The next few interviews are from my visit with Slum Soccer in April. I am finally getting to these interviews, mainly because I wasn’t sure how to present them. These are some of tougher interviews and life experiences that I’ve heard here so far.  For the sake of anonymity, I am simply going to present his reply in first person so his name is not disclosed.

This is a glimpse into one of the Slum Soccer coaches’ lives . I asked him one question, “ How has sports influenced your life?”

This was his reply.

“ I came to Nagpur in 2009, when I was in 8^th standard (grade). My father had a drinking problem for years and continued drinking even after our move to Nagpur. After we moved to the ‘colony’ close by here, my father’s habits improved a little bit. I enjoyed my new school, but the people were not necessarily good people. There were a lot of drugs there and it was a very violent environment. I unfortunately continued in my father’s footsteps. I was involved in a lot of violence and drugs. My 11^th and 12^th standards (grades) were very tough even though my father was getting better by then. At this point I  played a lot of cricket even though I knew that there was no future for me in cricket, but I enjoyed it. Then, one day one of my friends were selected for football (soccer) and I decided to go to his match (game). This was when I decided to join Slum Soccer and really make a career out of football (soccer) , as best I could. Slum Soccer gave me a way to become friends with the good kids, and taught me etiquette and leadership. The head coach gave showed me around and later let me coach a girls team.

Though things were good on this side of my life, my father was not doing well at this time.  One day when my father was drinking a lot, I pushed my father and accidentally gave him a head injury. Then, my father hired someone to kill me and filed a case against me. The case was dismissed and I managed to stay safe, but it was a very crazy and scary time for me, as you can imagine.

Things are better now. My father is actually in police training and is working on his drinking problem. I am much better now and working to help my family, which is my mother,  and younger brother and  sister.  I continue to watch cricket on the side and enjoy my time at Slum Soccer. Slum soccer has given me a lot- leadership experience, English speaking practice, and people to teach me how to act.”